Why Self-Care Needs to be a Wedding Planning Priority, and 3 Ways to Make it Happen

Choose vendors, pick colors, taste menus, craft or shop for the perfect decor, pick music... take a bubble bath? That last one might not be at the top of your wedding planning to-do list, but it should be. Why? And when on earth is there time? I'm about to break it down for you, stick with me for some self care tips to take care of yourself during wedding planning.

Nobody Plans to be a Bridezilla

As a bride, you have a million decisions to make, and hundreds of emails and questions to field during what ought to be a blissful season of engagement. I know from experience, that it is all too easy to get wrapped up in sweating the small stuff (and the big stuff). We wind up so anxious over getting all the details right, that we forget to actually enjoy the process.

By the time the wedding date finally rolls around, all that pent up stress leads to at least one meltdown. Some of us go full-cataclysmic bridezilla. I know, because I hit that breaking point, even though I was SURE I would be the most chill bride ever.

Ordering our best friends around like dictators, getting into petty fights, or shedding tears over a teeny tiny popped button, are not the wedding memories any of us dream of. So how to avoid the trauma? TAKE A STEP BACK. Make time for the bubble bath, the massage, the Netflix night - believe me, you need to make time for self care during wedding planning. Your wedding will not fall apart if you wait a day to respond to the email from the caterer. And believe me, some self care during wedding planning life will go a long way.

wedding planning self care tips

How to actually hit the relax button

I know, I know, easier said than done. So let me break the nice idea of self care during wedding planning down into some actual actionable steps for you.

1. Designate one day off a week

Pick a day of the week, your favorite day of the week. For the length of your engagement, no wedding planning is allowed on that day. I mean it; do not open your email, and no browsing Pinterest or updating spreadsheets. Use your day off to do things that make you happy. Plan a regular date night with your fiancé, read the book you've been meaning to get to, catch up on episodes of This is Us. Whatever it is you do, let your mind have a little break.

2. Give yourself a wedding planning deadline

This one will be the toughest, and it might stress you out to even think about, but hear me out. At a certain point, making one more photo backdrop or fine-tuning your frosting choice needs to not matter. You WILL NOT enjoy your wedding week if you stay up 'till 1 am every night of it perfecting final touches. Decide now, at what point you need to put down the projects and just enjoy yourself. I HIGHLY recommend giving yourself, at the very least, the last two weeks before your wedding date. Yes, it might mean a few of your ideas don't get actualized, but it will also mean you get to be present during the most exciting weeks of your life.

3. Take a freaking bubble bath

I'm so serious. I recommend more than one, but FOR SURE schedule a solid two hours to yourself two nights before your wedding. I'm almost certain there's scientific data out there to back me up, but nothing de-stresses like soaking with a bath bomb, a glass of wine, and candlelight.

So why two nights before the wedding? This is another one learned from experience: you never know what will happen to take your energy the night before. I'd planned on taking a bath and going to bed early, but my cousins were in a car accident and I wound up at the hospital instead. Make sure you build plenty of relaxation and sleep into your schedule the whole week before your wedding, so if you get thrown off in the last 24 hours, you still feel your best for your big day.
wedding planning self care tips

Don't forget your ladies

It's so easy to get lost in our own stresses as brides, but it is SO important to remember the people who help us make it all happen. Bridesmaids wind up handling a lot more work than you will even realize. They know it's their job to make it seem like no big deal so YOU can enjoy your day. A bridal party who is rested and feels appreciated, is a bridal party who will do whatever it takes to lift any stress from your shoulders. With how much those people love you, don't they simply deserve a bit of spoiling?

Encourage them to take breaks to de-stress, and make them feel as pampered as they make you feel. My best friend gave us, her bridesmaids, little spa presents as part of our bridesmaid gifts. It might seem like a small thing, but a new sugar scrub and candle have the power to make me feel like a queen. Make sure there's a point during your wedding week, that your girl gang takes a night off for a bubble bath too. A little self care will go a long way for your bridesmaids, too. 

wedding planning self care tips

You've got this

To recap: make an effort for self care during the wedding planning process. Taking care of yourself during your wedding planning process, will equate to a more enjoyable wedding day. You can accomplish stress-eliminating self-care by implementing a few simple steps now. When it comes down to it, this should be a season of joy and excitement. You have the power to make it happen.


Photos & Blog by Alyssa Zuiderveen
Alyssa Zuiderveen is a wedding and brand photographer who is obsessed with telling beautiful stories via her business, Aly May Photo. She lives in Grand Rapids, Michigan with her adventurous hubby of two years, John. Raising fur babies together was so much fun, the crazy kids decided to bring a human into the world, and are insanely excited to welcome their first child in early 2019. Alyssa gets way too excited about good lattes, craft gin, Wes Anderson movies, and adventure sports. Besides her Aly May blog, you can hang out with her on Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest!

wedding planning self care tips